Soybeast decided to go to a 50's themed party recently. She asked her sister if a friend could borrow one of her vintage dresses which was made in the 40's. Her sister reluctantly allowed it.
The next day came and the dress was nowhere to be found. Soybeast said her friend took it home to wash it.
It's been 2 months ...
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Bye, Dad
This morning, Soybeast's father came upstairs to say goodbye to his 2 daughters before he left for a 2+ week cross country road trip. He came into his other daughters room first to say goodbye. Soybeast, pissed off that her sleep was interrupted by the conversation across the hall, got up and SLAMMED her door shut. He then turned around and said goodbye to her. She responded with an unintelligble mutter.
Love.
Love.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Word of advice
Soybeast, I have a word of advice for ya. When you prance about speiling off why we all need to reuse reduce and recycle, do yourself a favor and contribute, you fucking goblin.
That means your showers need to last less than 30 minutes - What exactly are you washing off? You don't work so you don't sweat. You sit in your room all day so there's no dirt on you from the outside. What exactly do you do in the course of a day that justifies a 30 minute shower? If you're trying to scrub the horrible off of you, I'm sorry to say, but it's IN you, not ON you.
Also, shut things off. You know, everything you use. The hall light, bathroom light, bathroom fan. Oh, and your radio, and multiple bedroom lights every time you leave the house for the night.
These little adjustments MAY, just MAY reduce the power use of ten moderate people.
That means your showers need to last less than 30 minutes - What exactly are you washing off? You don't work so you don't sweat. You sit in your room all day so there's no dirt on you from the outside. What exactly do you do in the course of a day that justifies a 30 minute shower? If you're trying to scrub the horrible off of you, I'm sorry to say, but it's IN you, not ON you.
Also, shut things off. You know, everything you use. The hall light, bathroom light, bathroom fan. Oh, and your radio, and multiple bedroom lights every time you leave the house for the night.
These little adjustments MAY, just MAY reduce the power use of ten moderate people.
Shut the fucking door, Soybeast.
The other night it was freezing out and Soybeast went onto the deck to take pictures of whatever the fuck. She stepped onto the deck and left the door open. Started taking pictures, door still open. About a minute passed as I stared in horror (why didn't I shut the door? Because I wanted to see how long Soybeast thought it was reasonable to leave the door open) My experiment failed because at about 2 minutes, her mother slammed the door.
Soybeast ended up standing out there for about 5 minutes which, I assume, was the amount of time she would have left the door open.
What a beast, kids. What a beast.
Soybeast ended up standing out there for about 5 minutes which, I assume, was the amount of time she would have left the door open.
What a beast, kids. What a beast.
Baked Goods Plagiarization
Soybeast, on the phone with her friend "Heeeey, Guurrrrrlll!" was raving about these cookies that she made using the pulp leftover from the fruits and vegetables she juiced.
Problem is, she didn't make the cookies. Her mother did. She didn't even come up with the idea. Soybeast was going to throw the pulp away.
YOU DIDN'T MAKE THE FUCKING COOKIES, YOUR MOTHER DID. How in the name of FUCK do you march around, proud of something you didn't do? Can I do that? Can I go to D.C. and rave about what a good job I did on the Lincoln monument? (Actually, that would be funny. I should try that.)
Either way, go fuck yourself with one of your tofu popsicles Soybeast!
Problem is, she didn't make the cookies. Her mother did. She didn't even come up with the idea. Soybeast was going to throw the pulp away.
YOU DIDN'T MAKE THE FUCKING COOKIES, YOUR MOTHER DID. How in the name of FUCK do you march around, proud of something you didn't do? Can I do that? Can I go to D.C. and rave about what a good job I did on the Lincoln monument? (Actually, that would be funny. I should try that.)
Either way, go fuck yourself with one of your tofu popsicles Soybeast!
Shoot me in the neck, please
Today it snowed out. Not too bad in relation to the last few storms we've had, but enough to make you get off your lazy ass and shovel a bit.
That is unless you're the Soybeast in which case you hide in your room pretending to look for jobs online while everybody else takes care of the snow. Then at the last minute, you put on your "gear" (All you need to do is put on your fucking boots, not "gear" Shut your fucking mouth, you fucking beast.) And come outside, asking what else needs to be shoveled.
Thanks for the "help", Soybeast. Everything's all done. But since we're playing make believe and you're pretending to help, why don't you buy a one way ticket to Go Fuck Yourself, (which I think is somewhere near Russia).
That is unless you're the Soybeast in which case you hide in your room pretending to look for jobs online while everybody else takes care of the snow. Then at the last minute, you put on your "gear" (All you need to do is put on your fucking boots, not "gear" Shut your fucking mouth, you fucking beast.) And come outside, asking what else needs to be shoveled.
Thanks for the "help", Soybeast. Everything's all done. But since we're playing make believe and you're pretending to help, why don't you buy a one way ticket to Go Fuck Yourself, (which I think is somewhere near Russia).
It Begins
I created this blog to blow off some steam. I didn't have many options. It was either write about it or this:
Here you will read about one of the worst people in MY world. I word it that way because I haven't met people like Kim Jong Il or Oprah, in which case I would have bigger fish to fry. Instead you'll hear the rantings of one petty person complaining about an even more petty person.
Names will be changed just because that's probably what you're supposed to do.
If this seems too cryptic, you're probably right. If you're not reading this, you're better off.
That's about it for the introduction. Read on for more details.
Here you will read about one of the worst people in MY world. I word it that way because I haven't met people like Kim Jong Il or Oprah, in which case I would have bigger fish to fry. Instead you'll hear the rantings of one petty person complaining about an even more petty person.
Names will be changed just because that's probably what you're supposed to do.
If this seems too cryptic, you're probably right. If you're not reading this, you're better off.
That's about it for the introduction. Read on for more details.
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